Whoever said the old adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is an idiot.
First of all, how many of us get pelted with literal sticks and stones on a regular basis? Even as a child, I don’t remember ever being accosted by enemies throwing any sticks or stones of a magnitude to cause broken bones. Shoot, I played in the woods almost every day and probably inflicted more injuries on myself through bruises and scratches than anyone else laid on me. As a matter of fact, the only broken bone I ever suffered was self-inflicted as well. In seventh grade I broke my collarbone by losing my balance while doing a handstand and nailing my shoulder on the ground.
Perhaps if this saying was true, we wouldn’t have it’s reverse spouted in the whole “pen is mightier than the sword.” Words are powerful, as any writer of literature or propaganda will tell you. We make major life decisions every day based on the words of others. We choose products for our homes and our health based on oral testimonies and print advertising. We choose elected officials based on verbal and written campaign ads. We decide on our theological perspectives based on preaching and the living Word of the Bible. As Christians, we believe the most powerful influence in our lives is the Word of God. Words are the most important weapon in our spiritual armor, and the most powerful force in the world, period.
That said, can words hurt? Absolutely. The Bible is rife with verses to make this point:
“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18)
“A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4)
“But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” (James 3:8)
Even those who don’t ascribe truth to scripture cannot argue with the fact that throughout our history it has been words that have changed the world. Authors have used their voices to elicit social and political change for generations. Virgil wrote the Aeneid to give credence to Augustus’ rule; Shakespeare is supposed to have written King Lear to criticize King James I; Jonathan Swift wrote Gulliver’s Travels in criticism of many facets of British government and politics; Karl Marx wrote Das Kapital in order to persuade people about the assumed dangers of capitalism; Hitler wrote Mein Kampf and swayed many to see the Jews as destructive toward society. The list of persuasive writing goes on and on and on, from fictional accounts, to treatises on a variety of “real” situations and topics. Every piece of literature I have ever read has some sort of agenda behind it.
If the words of others can influence and persuade us to such great degrees, wouldn’t it follow that our words can be equally encouraging or destructive? Of course. Are we always intentional in exerting this influence or inflicting pain? Hardly. Sometimes, even often, we simply don’t think when we exert our right of free speech. We’ve been taught that our voices should be heard, but maybe there are times when we really should be exercising our right to remain silent.
I’ve been deeply hurt by the words of others throughout my life, but particularly this past week. A downfall of my chosen area of expertise is that I am a hyper-analyst of the written word. I can and do read between the lines. What a person doesn’t say, in between what he or she does say, is just as significant to me. I’ve gotten angry, I’ve gotten sad, I’ve vented to my husband, but at the end of the day, I feel the need to use my own words to process, so here I am.
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