An Epileptic Runs through It

I have a son with epilepsy.  It has taken ten years of seizures for me to start calling the spade the spade and use the E-word.  In the last year and a half, he’s become a runner and participates in our school cross-country team.  It’s been a messy ride to say the least, but here’s what we’ve learned through the experience:

Community:

At the very first pre-season race, Ryan seized in the last half to quarter mile, but he finished mostly upright.  I had to catch him coming off the finish line and work him through the emotional release brought on with the combination of race end and seizure.  When we got out to our car, there was a mom and daughter next to us and they both took a moment to walk over and tell Ryan they were impressed with his finish.  I felt compelled to explain what happened, but the mom stopped me and said she was a doctor and could tell he had epilepsy and was ready to jump in and help us if needed.  She didn’t judge us for letting him run, she applauded his efforts.

Determination:

Every race, seizure or no seizure, muscle pain or no muscle pain, Ryan finished the race.  One particularly rough seizure literally knocked him to the ground and when I made it to him, he was crawling on all fours.  He was confused a bit, but when I asked him if he wanted to finish, he said yes, and when his coach asked him if he could get up, he replied, “I can’t walk, but I can crawl.”

Letting Go:

This one is about me.  I can’t put into words how it felt watching Ryan crawl, confused with skinned knee, through Florida clay until a teammate came and got him on his feet and walked him to the finish. The hardest thing I did all season was walk away when Ryan asked me to, but that is the one thing he comments on the most: how thankful he is that we let him run, and let him fall, and don’t stop him from persevering. We also had to trust Ryan’s coach and defer to his judgment when we didn’t trust our own.

Teamwork:

Starting with the second race, Ryan’s teammates rallied around him for every seizure-ridden finish. His co-captain jumped in each week after having run his own race and ran alongside or behind Ryan up to the last little bit across the finish.  Most races once the team knew what was happening, several runners would jump in and run alongside the course encouraging Ryan and making sure he was protected.  In the last race, and the toughest course, the one we were most fearful of, the entire varsity team, and several of the girls’ team members spread out along the course to keep him safe.  During several races a healthy competition arose between Ryan and one of the girls because their times were similar; Ryan would sometimes spur her on by telling her to beat his own time. By the district competition, which Ryan was unable to qualify for, he was running some of those same teammates into the finish.  Support became the accomplishment.

Disappointment:

Ryan’s biggest wish going into this past season was to run varsity.  His summer training set him up well and before the season began, there was no reason to believe he wouldn’t accomplish this goal.  Unfortunately as his season progressed, it became apparent he’d be staying on JV due to his times being slow because of the seizure interruptions.  There were so many weeks his finish time just wasn’t what he wanted or needed and I asked him often if he wanted to quit; selfishly, there were weeks I wanted him to quit because I was so tired of watching him struggle.  He refused to give up, even through disappointments.  When the district meet came and he couldn’t run at all, he came and encouraged his teammates and truly didn’t let it bother him.

Leadership:

Ryan was named co-captain along with another senior runner and friend since kindergarten. As the weeks went on, I seriously questioned his coach’s choice.  It might have seemed a good idea when it looked like Ryan would run varsity and actually aid in leading the team, but it kind of sucked when he was finishing last.  Leading isn’t always about being up front though.  Setting an example of perseverance and sticking with commitment is leadership.  Giving thoughtful input while watching your teammates’ times and forms and mental health is leadership.  Pep talking the team at school when the coach isn’t around is leadership.

Tomorrow night Ryan will attempt his first half marathon.  His training hasn’t gone quite according to plan, but in typical Ryan fashion, he refuses to give up.  I will run and if needed, walk, alongside him and help him do what he’s been doing all season…finish the race.

Thoughts on The Book Thief - A Brief Review

“I wanted to tell the book thief many things, about beauty and brutality.  But what could I tell her about those things that she didn’t already know? I wanted to explain that I am constantly overestimating and underestimating the human race – that rarely do I ever simply estimate it. I wanted to ask her how the same thing could be so ugly and so glorious, and its words and stories so damning and brilliant…I am haunted by humans.”

After reading The Book Thief by Markus Zusak twice now I am so struck with not only the creative narration, but the brilliant characterization and the truly haunting picture it paints of humanity.  War brings out both the worst and the best in humanity, though most would say it brings out more of the worst than the best.  A German town with a Nazi mayor certainly doesn’t sound like a stage set for goodness and mercy, but that’s exactly what readers find in Molching, Zusak’s fictional town based on Olching, Germany.  The Hubermanns have lost their to two children to the terrors of adulthood and have conflict with their grown son who is a Nazi Party member and off fighting in Stalingrad.  The Hans and Rosa originally take in their foster daughter, Liesel, solely for the income allowance it will give them during the lean time of rationing and lessened work opportunities.  Rosa is harsh at best, but she is also loving to the core and she instills in Liesel a self-sufficiency and respect that is critical to her survival as a young German girl who has been orphaned and faces persecution due to her Communist parentage and illiteracy.  Hans is more overtly loving from the first moments, and his lesson ifor Lieel is to always honor your commitments and stand up for what you believe is right.  Rudy, Liesel’s best friend, shows her loyalty and love and how to live life to the fullest despite the world falling apart around them.  Finally, the mayor’s wife, Ilsa Hermann, exemplifies what can happen when the values you’ve been made to cling to are called into question by none other than a young child and the lessons that can be learned even in adulthood that go against previous indoctrination.

The choice of Death as a narrator is unique and probably makes the greatest statement of the whole novel.  Perhaps the best message is that we should all live our lives in such a way that Death takes a break from his duties, that he becomes so enthralled with life, that he is forevermore haunted by humans.

A Casual Mistake

Let me say first, I am a HUGE fan of the Harry Potter series, and I'm an adult with a literature degree currently teaching high school English.  I've read the Potter series four times all the way through and have gotten more out of it every time.  I was so excited to have a new J.K. book and pre-ordered a hard copy and a Kindle version.  I only made it through five and half chapters and am thoroughly disgusted and disappointed.  As a friend said after I told her about my experience, "It's like the child actor who grows up and goes into porn just to prove they are no longer a child."  Why, J.K., why?

Almost any literature lover or student can tell you that the hottest trend right now is young adult fiction, particularly the dystopian genre.  While there are good, better, best novels in this arena, one thing they tend to have in common is their appeal to both juveniles and adults.  Rowling had a good thing going with her young adult series that translated into a loyal fan base of ALL ages.  Why mess that up?

Reading what I did of Casual Vacancy left me feeling violated, like I need to wash my mind out with a bar of soap.  As its review by the Huffington Post states:

"Here's what most publications will say about J.K. Rowling's first book for adults: it's not for children. It contains swearwords, rape, racism, pornography, self-harm, suicide, domestic violence, heroin and marijuana use, a character who contemplates child abuse, and graphic descriptions of sex."

Obviously it's not for children, but I'm an adult and it's not for me either. I could have forgiven the copious use of the F-word, this is British after all and they don't have our same American compunction with using it.  I could have even maybe gotten on board with the rhetorical choices being character appropriate...well, if she had developed the characters better.  What I couldn't get over was having to suffer through the minds of a horny teenage boy and his descriptions of his personal, public, and private sexual encounters, and at least one equally horny, but completely asinine adult male.  Not to mention the overt references to the female genitalia.

I'm not a prude and I've read a vast amount of good and bad literature over the years, including the more recent Game of Thrones.  The Song of Fire and Ice series is very adult in nature, but the character development is stellar and the action counter-balances the more raw sexual moments in way that makes you believe you are reading something that is an honest view on a particular time period and society.  Casual Vacancy just reads as crass.  I've already returned my Kindle copy and will be shipping back the hard copy as well.

Victor or Victim?

In the last year and a half or so I’ve heard much talk about the current generation of 10-30 year olds.  They’ve been called “Millenials” and the “iY” generation, a reference to their lives being surrounding by technology.  I personally prefer the “Everyone Gets a Trophy” generation.  Point being that on all fronts that this group of young people is being raised in an easy-access environment that places little value on critical thinking skills or struggle.  It used to be a joke that adults went to therapy blaming all of their life’s woes on their parents; now I wonder if they’d go to therapy blaming all of life’s woes on the internet or the Apple corporation.  Personal responsibility has shifted.

Before you stop reading thinking this is about to become a treatise on what’s wrong with today’s young people, let me say this…it’s not really their fault.  Yes, I know I just made reference to personal responsibility, and I’ll be getting to that, but first let me say that no one gets to choose the time period he or she is born into, nor do they get to choose their parentage.  And if choice could be made, how could you decide?  I work in a Christian environment, largely with Chritsian young people who fall into this age group, so allow me to take a perspective that comes from Christ’s own life.

• Jesus, as scripture tells us, was conceived by an unwed teenage mom. 
• He almost did not get an earthly father, “And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly” (Matthew 1:19). 
• He wasn’t born in a hospital, or birthing center, or even a nice home, “And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn” (Luke 2:7)
• Not only was He born away from home in less than ideal conditions, He was taken on the run by his parents , “And he [Joseph] rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed to Egypt” (Matthew 2:14)
• His mom and step-dad didn’t always understand Him, “And when his parents saw him, they were astonished. And his mother said to him, ‘Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress.’ And he said to them, ‘Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?’ And they did not understand the saying that he spoke to them.” (Luke 2:48-50)
• He was rejected in his own hometown by those who had known Him His whole life, “and coming to his hometown he taught them in their synagogue, so that they were astonished, and said, ‘Where did this man get this wisdom and these mighty works? Is not this the carpenter's son? Is not his mother called Mary? And are not his brothers James and Joseph and Simon and Judas? And are not all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all these things?’ And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, ‘A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and in his own household’” (Mark 13:54-57)

His earthly ministry didn’t truly begin until He was near 33 years old, and the rest of His story is fairly familiar.  Despite the signs, wonders, and solid teaching, He was often rejected or criticized.  Even in the end, His most faithful followers failed Him in a variety of ways and He was compelled to die an agonizingly painful death to save the world from sin. 

I fail to find anywhere in the scriptures that Jesus blamed His parents, or the society around Him, for His troubles.  He accepted early on His role in the world.  Even more, we are told repeatedly in the New Testament that we are to rejoice in suffering, and that in suffering, we come closest to Christ.  Suffering for sufffering’s own sake is not the end goal, but suffering leads to a host of positives: endurance, character, perseverance, comfort, hope, etc.  When the deck is all played out, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (Romans 8:37).

So while it’s not the fault of any generation that the world is the way it is, we don’t have to settle.  The easy path is rarely the most satisfying, and it does not have to be chosen.  We need to push our young people to think critically even if it’s “hard” and to accept the families, schools, friends, teachers, workplaces, etc. that they have been given.

Latest Reads Christmas Break 2011

These days it takes a couple weeks off of school to get any serious, non-academic reading done. I am going to challenge myself to read a Potter chapter a day in 2012, however, and see how long it takes to get through all seven books again that way. (Yes, I realize I could count chapters and figure this out ahead of time, but who plans things lie this out in advance?).

This Christmas break I’ve read Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand, my monthly book club’s selection, and Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, a book I have to admit I picked solely based on its cover.

I started off enjoying the Major and his motley assortment of “friends,” or rather fellow townsfolk, but about 7/8 of the way through it took a turn down a path I probably should have expected, but disappointed me nonetheless. As a commentary on the narrow-mindedness of a small British village and its lack of tolerance for those out of step with its societal hierarchy, it’s a fairly entertaining read. The Major plays his role as a staunch family patriarch, ex-military man, trying to do the “right” thing by his family and his village, well for the most part. The characters of Roger, his son, Grace, a proper female friend, and the local Lord, sister-in-law, married male friend, all compliment him decently and serve to highlight what is good and lacking in the Major. The main relationship of the book, though, is that of the Major and Mrs. Ali, the local Indian shopkeeper with whom the Major strikes up an unlikely friendship that later takes a romantic turn. The Major and Mrs. Ali encounter rather typical obstacles in their individual lives and in their relationship, placed there by the artificial constraints of local society. These constraints are further highlighted in a few side relationships of the younger generation as well. Unfortunately, what started out with great promise as an entertaining satire and possible deeper social commentary fell flat during the falling action and denouement. The conclusions of each sub-plot felt rushed and unsatisfying with too many frayed ends. The resolution of the Major and Mrs. Ali’s story felt predictable, but yet there was a “Really? Did it have to happen like that?” sense in parts of it. As a reader of a wide variety of classic and modern literature I certainly wasn’t shocked or offended by any of the turns the stories took, but I was disappointed that the author felt like she had to go there with each one. I felt betrayed somehow and was left rooting for the wrong characters in the end.

Miss Peregrine’s, on the other hand, was new and unusual and very enjoyable. Again, because I chose this book really based on an unusual and intriguing cover and book flap description, I wasn’t holding by hopes too high, especially after the disappointment of Major Pettigrew. There is not a whole lot I can say about the plot with spoilers, but I definitely didn’t have this one all figured out well in advance of the plot progression. It’s very quirky, and I’m sure will not appeal every audience, but if you’ve enjoyed any of the QuirkBooks reads in the past, this one lives up to its predecessors. “Peculiar” not only describes the characters, but the storyline as well. I love that while most of the events require a healthy amount of willing suspension of disbelief, segments are rooted in enough in the real world and history to have readers wondering “Well…maybe…could that really be happening?” I’m a huge Doctor Who fan, and several times could picture these characters in a crazy episode with the Doctor. Yes, time travel is a component, but only a somewhat small, backdrop type of element. The photojournalistic approach works well helping readers with images that are too fantastic to grab a hold of on our own. A quick, quirky, quality read!